P=NP

Let’s win $1,000,000!

Good Morning All! Today we shall endeavor to win $1m by solving a really tough mathematical problem. There are 7 so-called millennial problems, the solution of each of them merit’s a $1m prize.  I’ve picked the first on the list, a seemingly easy problem called P=NP. Right then chaps, let’s solve it!

P=NP

Problem = No Problem!

Wait, that’s not right… erm, P must be a variable, that’s it. And, the N must stand for Not. So… some number P is equal to some other number Not P?

P=NP……. 1=2? But how could 1=2? That’s already been disproven, hasn’t it? Okay, how about in Modular arithmetic, or Non-Euclidean Geometry? *Consults* Well, those branches of math have their own problems, let’s leave them alone. Okay, another approach, suppose were looking for something universal? That all problems which have no solutions actually have solutions??

Hmm, obviously were not getting anywhere. Let’s try looking this problem up:

*45 minutes pass* The office is a mess of crumpled papers, scribbled notes, and half the walls are covered in print-outs. Sheepdogs wilted to the floor, and the bunnys have poured cocoa on his furry head in efforts to revive him.

*Ahem* No thanks to the bunnies, we may finally have some answers. P=NP states that if a computational solution to a problem can be verified, there exists an algorithm to solve the problem. P represents the problem, where a solution may exist, and NP represents the verified solution.

Buy why call them P and NP, you ask? Trust me on this one, you don’t really want to know. P stands for “The existence of an algorithm for a task that runs in polynomial time. The general class of such questions is called class p, whereas NP is an answer that can be verified in polynomial time, and stands for nondeterministic polynomial time.” See? I told you that you didn’t want to know.

Suppose you ask, as I once did, what polynomial time is. Again, you don’t really want to know. An algorithm is said to be of polynomial time if its running time is upper bounded by a polynomial expression of the same type as the input for the algorithm. From here we get into multiple rabbit trails, including strong and weak polynomial time, super polynomial time, and exponential time. And from there the spiral continues down computational complexity theory.

Anyway, we just wanted to solve this and earn $1m, but how can we solve it if we don’t even understand the question???

Let’s break down all the technical jargon, and see if we can wrap our brains around this concept of P=NP without trying to traverse all of time and space to do it.

Suppose we went to Disneyland! And once we are there, we want to know where the teacups ride is. We walk up to the information desk, and there is a line of people about 10 people in front of us. We still don’t know where the teacups ride is, but we have a pretty good idea how long it will take to find the answer: namely 2 minutes per person times 10 people: or 20 minutes. This is what polynomial time is. It’s a way to determine how long it could take to find the answer.

The information desk here is the algorithm, or solution to our problem. He or she knows where everything is in the park. This is P.

But suppose we don’t go to information. Suppose we ask Mickey Mouse to point us in the direction of the teacups. Mickey doesn’t know where they are, but he knows it’s not in his section of the park. He just verified our guess that it was in a different section of the park. So Mickey is NP.

Now of course, we know in Disneyland, there is an information desk, or algorithm solution to our question. P=NP suggests there is always an information desk anytime there is a Mickey. Can we prove this? Well in any department store, or hotel there seems to be. But what about a Saturday Market of sorts? Any clerk or booth can tell us a piece of the puzzle, like where the broccoli stand is, but can they tell us where everything is? Most likely not. But then, suppose there exists a booth somewhere that is an information booth and we just haven’t found it yet…

In this last case, we don’t know for sure if there even is and information booth. And that is P=NP.

Quick! Go and solve it! And you could earn $1m!!!! Frankly, I may be better off to publish this paper under humor and take my $3 publishing fee. *hehe*

Sheepdog

References to all those big words I wrote:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_complexity#Exponential_time

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P_versus_NP_problem

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennium_Prize_Problems

Telemarketers from Mordor

You’ve been captured in Mirkwood by the Elves and thrown in the dungeon. But wouldn’t you know it, these dungeons have phones that receive nothing but telemarketer’s phone calls from the Orcs!

When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one in thid dungeon seems to care! I have all these problems; Gandalf left us in Mirkwood, we’re cold and wet, the other dwarves are getting annoying, the burglar disappeared, we were attacked by spiders, and now I’m in a dungeon…

If they say they're Duelc from ORC Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name (chances are, they can’t spell it). Then ask them where their company is located, and if they are in league with Sauron. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about them and their association with Wargs as long as necessary.

Cry out in surprise, the name of the telemarker name such as "Beorn! Is that you? Oh my Gosh! Beorn, how have you been? How are the bees keeping?” Hopefully, this will give "Beorn" a few brief moments of pause as he tries to figure out where in Middle Earth he could know you from.

If ORC phone company calls and tries to get you on the family and friends plan, reply in your best Troll voice “I don’t have any friends. They are all dead. Would you like to be my friend?” Chances are you can’t intimidate and Orc, but you sure can try!

If they want to loan you money, tell them you’ve been robbed by Smaug and would love some money (preferably in gold or silver)!

Tell the telemarketer you have been captured by some very strict Elves who took your belongings and all your credit cards, but you sure could use some ale and a side of meat!

After they give their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you’ve been questing for a long time and sure could use someone to share in your trials and troubles. You can also tell them that you cannot give your credit card information to a Orc-ish stranger.

Tell them you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their personal cell phone number so you can call them back. When they explain they cannot give out their cell number, say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"

Insist that the caller is really your friend from the Shire. No amount of persuading from them can convince you otherwise. Keep repeating things like: “How is the green dragon last night? Did you enjoy your birthday? No…no…I can’t come, I’m locked in a dungeon.  

Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down, and the only writing utensil you have is the spoon from your meal and a rock wall.

Friday Night Fun!

It's Friday! The rabbits have taken over Sheepdog's blog while he is busy wasting another Friday night on laundry and meetings with boring strangers. Woohoo! We are going to have some insane fun while the Sheepdog is away. But... he only left us with $8.49... Oh well! We'll shoot the works! We have taken a poll from all the bunnies in the apartment, and here are our favorite votes:

Gray Bunny: Homemade Popcorn and Movie (Rented, or $5 bin at Walmart).

Homemade popcorn is surprisingly easy and fun to make, and actually cheaper than microwave popcorn. Buy a bag of popcorn at the grocery store, and some corn oil. Get a pot with a lid, and heat up about 2 tblspoons oil, or enough to cover the bottom of the pan. Pour in about ¼ - ½ cup of popcorn. Cover with lid, and shake/stir occasionally.

Gray Bunny: Hot Air popcorn maker. If you happen to have one of these, popcorn is even faster and more fun to make! Besides, you can aim a hot air popcorn maker at your pet/roommate and see how many they can catch in their mouth. Caution, popcorn will be hot!

Blue Bunny Laser pointer fun. If you have a laser pointer and a camera, turn out the lights, and see what kind of wacky-fun pictures you can get with a laser pointer! Hint, set the shutter speed to a long time, about 5-20 seconds, and wave the laser pointer around.

Blue Bunny: Project Time! At your local home depot, buy a couple small pieces of pvc pipe (half inch). Borrow the tools there to cut them into 1 foot lengths. Take them home and decorate them. Then, pick up a bag of mini marshmallows at the store. Have a marshmallow gun fight.

Brown Bunny: Buy Balloons. Balloons are fun! Water fight, taping them to the wall and throwing sharp objects at them, playing kickball, the possibilities are endless! Shoot marshmallows at them.

Brown Bunny: Wand! Easy! Find a stick, whittle it into a wand. Don’t have a knife? Find one at big lots or a sporting goods store. Often, they have fun/epic looking knives on a “super” sale for about $10 or under.

Ninja Cat next door: Watch your favorite movie, Quote the whole thing out loud just to prove you can. Find funny voices for each character. J

All the Bunnies: Bake cookies. Need we say more? :D Try not to eat all the dough before they are cooked.

Pegasus: Balloon Rockets: Grab some string, a few tacks, a straw and a balloon. Tadaa! Instant balloon rocket!

10: For any of the above, play some party music or cartoons while you are setting things up.

*Bunnies drop list and commence to eat all the cookie dough while trashing the house with all the ideas going on at once* 

"Acckk! Sheepdog, help!!" - Black Kitty here and I'm hiding under the bed.