New Year's Resolutions ....Eh, maybe not

Good Morning Chaps, 

I don't know about you, but every year I feel the stress of writing up a list of New Year's Resolutions. These come from all directions: media, friends, co-workers, etc. That's a lot of pressure for a simple sheepdog! Most year's I opt out of this American tradition, in favor of a single resolution: Do not make any resolutions you can't keep. Resolutions can be tricky to keep, and often only last for 2-5 weeks before fizzling out. Why is this? Why are they so hard to keep? I believe it's because we are asking ourselves start a new habit, (or end an old habit) cold turkey, for a whole year. Furthermore, people (especially humans) tend to insist on doing this themselves, with no buddy or accountability partner. After a few weeks, they miss a day. Then another and another. They end up feeling bad, and getting depressed over the whole issue. Then, they don't want to start back up again. On the whole, I find my life to be simpler by not making these resolutions. Oh sure, I set some goals along the road here and there (fix car, read bible more, etc) but these are short term goals, spread out over the entire year, not a life-changing list I make up once a year in January. If you still insist on writing up New Year's Resolutions, here are a few tips:

Gym Memberships:

Don’t buy a gym membership. There are lots of reasons for this. Statistically, about 12% of people who resolve to get a new gym card in January actually use it. Besides, memberships run for a premium in January. If you really want one, wait until late spring. Plus, it’s an extra expense. There are much better and cheaper ways to exercise. Want to learn kickboxing? Get a kangaroo. Want to run/jog more? Help a cheetah chase down its meal. Swimming lessons? Seals, Dolphins and Dewgongs are excellent teachers! Tree/Rock climbing? Koala’s and Goats! Parkour in the kitchen is also a great alternative. If you can do this and flip pancakes at the same time I'll be really impressed!

Diet for the New Year:

Arguably one of the top 3 most popular New Year’s resolutions (right next to winning a hot dog eating contest and turning the moon into a death star). The truth is, you don’t really want to start a year-long diet plan. First, it’s no fun. Cutting out cinnamon rolls, sweet buttered crescents, chocolate chip cookies, and birthday cake? What a way to ruin a perfectly good year! Second, there is a better way. What kind of shape do you want to be in? Thor is a chiseled Asgardian character, who lives on feasts and Shawarma. If you’ve been wanting to brush up on your wizarding skills like Ron and Harry, eat nothing but pumpkin pasties and chocolate frogs. Or, if you have a hobbity sort of build and are vertically challenged, there is nothing like a Hagrid diet to bulk up a little. Hagrid eats chicken, rock cakes, and tends to cry when dragons bite his leg.

Find A New Hobby:

Also titled how to set your house on fire. Everybody loves a new hobbit hobby! Unfortunately, people tend to pick difficult hobbies to start, then give up too easily. Guys will try to "pick up" a new sport, usually an expensive one (Golfing, Tennis, Podracing). They put a ton of money into all the necessary equipment, then realize around August they haven't gone out more than about 3 times, and sell all their stuff on Craigslist. Gals are guilty of this too (Sewing, Scrapbooking, Jedi Training). Pets tend to have a more realistic approach: spend more time fetching the paper than eating it, dig a hole large enough to escape from, bark at neighbors cat more, get a new painting for the doghouse. You find that usually once a pet sets his/her mind to do something, they go through with it. Also, most of these hobbies involve time, and not so much expense. There are lots of hobbies out there that don't require a mitt, club or power source to do. Before picking a hobby, ask yourself this: why haven't you picked it up before? Expense? Lack of time? Not really interested? Don't pick up a hobby just to fulfill a resolution. Think of something that interests you. Something you want to spend your time (and possibly $$) on.

Learn to cook:

Also titled how to set your friend’s house on fire. I'm actually in favor of cooking as a New Year's Resolution. Cooking is more or less a required skill once you are out on your own. Oh sure, you can live on rice-a-roni and mac and cheese, but what about soft gooey cookies? And pie? And crumble? *mouth starts watering*. Okay, you don't need to be a gourmet chief who lights candles at every meal, but a basic brush-up on cookies erm, cooking never hurts! See blog post below for a full tour of kitchen prep and setup:

http://sheepdogrants.blogspot.com/2015/11/bonus-post-cooking.html 

If all else fails, learn to make Ooblek and diet coke and mentos. *Sidenote* these are good recipes to make at a friends house. 

Get Organized:

Lastly, lots of humans like to "get organized" for the new year. Clean the house. Reduce clutter. And all those colloquial terms. Here's how most people arrive at this resolution. *Put's down "If you give a mouse a cookie" book*. First, the human household begins to throw the wrapping paper away from Christmas. Then, they continue eating cookies and Christmas leftovers until the fridge is empty. Once the kitchen is empty, the decide it needs to be cleaned as long as it's empty. So they clean it out. After a few days of living off leftovers and who hash, they make a run to the grocery store and buy everything but the kitchen sink. Then it's time to put away the Christmas Decorations. To do that they will need boxes to store them. When they see the state of their shelves, they will want to clean/organize the shelves. While they are at it, they will proceed to give the whole house a scouring. Next, they begin assessing any gifts they may have received that replace older items (kitchen utensils, cords and tech misc., clothing, etc). So they swap that out and begin a nice small pile by the kitchen door to haul to the dump (or goodwill). And the spiral continues. This isn't a bad thing, but then they botch it up by creating a New Year's Resolution about it. "Let's keep the house this clean all year!" It's a great thought, but often not entirely realistic. That's why we have Spring Cleaning, Summer Garage Sales, and fall clear out. In summary, it's great to clean/muck out, but don't resolve to make this your Friday Night tradition. Besides, the only truly clean house is one that hasn't been built yet. 

Hope you enjoyed! 

~Sheepdog~